Friday, May 18, 2018

Too late to tell me you miss me, i’ve moved on..

I’ve spent too much time thinking I wasn’t good enough for you, until someone came along and restore my self-confidence and treated me how I finally realised the way i should have been treated.

Now i know what I’m looking for, but it’s definitely not you.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Don't Settle

They say you can't learn about love unless you fling yourself out there, but don't go flinging yourself making the same mistake twice or more just to be back at square one.

I had a recent break up couple of months ago, one person I really open my heart to after my ex-boyfriend destroyed me by marrying another woman. I took almost two years to know I was ready to fling myself out there. Eventually I committed myself to this person whom I thought was open-minded, well-mannered and down to earth.

Not long after I found out that things couldn't work out between us because of the different ideas we had about almost everything. They say first impression lasts, I say some first impression can be the beginning of their bullshit. All those thoughts turned out to be totally opposite in time. Making it impossible for me to even forgive myself that I allow myself to date such a man.

I've seen a lot of stereotypes about how women only wants to be with men when they are wealthy, and that these women will eventually leave them when these men are broke. Supposedly we women don't want to go through hardship and only perceive men as our financial support or breadwinner of the family.

I hate to break the news people, it wasn't the first time I was with a guy who are broke and jobless, and I didn't let that stand in my way of building a relationship. Truth is, IT IS SUPPOSED TO. I've made this stupid mistake once, and I'm making it for the third ? fourth time? Men who are broke but wants to date you says two things about them; they are either dumb enough to think they can live like a parasite or they are too lazy to work their ass off. (or both)

I'm not saying that we women should be gold digger, I am saying that the right guy (even if earn very little) will make it happen simply because they know how to treat a woman properly. So don't lower down your standard trying to break some stereotypes just to prove a point. Cuz at the end of the day, if we start a relationship with a parasite, they will always be asking for more, at one point, their request just become so ridiculously impossible to be granted.

Secondly, I see post on Facebook about how the society wants women to be a working mom but at the same time do the house chores and cook and serve their husband. Even worse, those using the name of religion to actually justify this. I know everyone have their own opinion about this, but what I can't accept is how funny it is that men are quick to compromise only when it comes to family income, but not the house chores. Putting this as an idea just makes me so sick to even think of marriage. Sounds like a slave to me.

The right guy will not put you in this position, they will try their best to make you happy, and as an act of love, you will do as best to make them happy too. It's not a competition about who's right and who's wrong, or who's more superior, and who has to do all the task. Isn't marriage about sharing and caring. If it is then a couple should just tolerate and compromise, too bad for me I never had that in my previous relationship. When a man is too big headed to compromise with you because of his damn huge ego, time for you to run away, waste time no more and just do yourself a favour.

So ladies, although this is just a reminder for me NOT to make the same mistakes in the future, these are practically things that you need to avoid. Stop making excuses for losers like this, they will rip you off, undermine and belittle you and make you feel like crap, when they are actually the wrong guy from the beginning. Don't settle. Know your self worth and your value.

Some men can cook for you, or come to Jb when you tell them you miss them. Or buy breakfast for you, or wait for you at the airport, or do other 1 million things to show they are interested. Don't waste your life giving the wrong men opportunities when you could have someone who can treat you way better.

Monday, August 28, 2017

Only time can heal me, insyaAllah...

Thursday, August 24, 2017

The one who got away

2 days before his akad nikah, i went straight to his house, drove 6 hours on the road on a Thursday noon (because that was all the time i have left and the time i hope he has left too).

The only guy i'd travel extra miles for...

My instict told me he was at home... And the moment i called him, he knew i was already in front of his house. That's how well we know each other.

And i went there, and i see him, and the moment i looked deep in those eyes of his, i knew exactly how he felt. But i couldn't tell him i felt it too.

Everything happened so fast... we talked and we laughed then we cried, but most importantly, we closed the book we started four and a half years ago. 

Four and a half years ago, we started of being the greatest "chem" partner, who knew we really had that chemistry in reality. We moved from capsquare to HELP to coffee o clock to miti and to JB & ASNB. We had each others back no matter what. We went through thick & thin, (and being rich and being poor) together. From being a student into working field. Who knew all of these was temporary..

I traveled the world hoping to make peace with my past, but how could i say he was my past when he's still on my present mind. How could i still want what i wanted after all these while, after all the places i've been to & all the people i met. How can i still... love him?

I finally did the wisest thing for both me & us, i got us both a closure... For us (or at least me) to be free from assumptions & doubts. To stop blaming each other why and how we drifted apart. To know exactly why we couldn't work things out and what happened to us. I got all the answers to my questions, suddenly everything just make sense. I feel like the world has been lifted up from my shoulder. No more pain, no more question marks, no more late night "what if" and no more "may be's"

It was me all these while, it wasnt him... and i thought i was the victim who had my heart broken into pieces, but it was him who was hurt and broken. And it was me who had betrayed us, it was me. I've destroyed us. I created a permanent damage that i can never take it back.

If i was given a second chance, i'd give the world to take that chance. Because two person who loves each other are supposed to be together and we are supposed to end up together. But who am i to question the fate? I accepted this with an open heart... I guess god has bigger plan for both you & i.

Deep down inside, i love you, and you love me, but time & distance will tear us apart. We will heal individually. We will forget. And we will put this in the past. We will move on and we'll come out stronger. But until then, it is what it is right now...

Congratulation on your marriage, and thanks for the memories, but it's about time now...... we go our seperate ways. Treat her well, she deserves your heart better than i do.

Rest in peace RMAR (11.01.13-10.08.17)

Friday, March 10, 2017

Norway has gotta be the best country I've ever visited

5 months back from traveling and I'm still not over it, quite the period to have a post-holiday fever. But yea, i am the difficult type to move on.

I was going through my photos and it reminded me of how beautiful the journey to Odda was from Oslo. I've arrived in Oslo, Norway from Stockholm, Sweden. 6 days in the city was too long for me, so i booked a bus to go to Odda, Norway, which was 7 hours away, but boy, the journey was beautiful. Never had i regretted a moment there, in fact, i wish i could stayed longer.

I had small ambition to climb Mount Trolltunga (about 12 hours hike but with an amazing view), apparently the weather wasn't kind enough, and i wasn't prepared with a proper hiking attire. I took a walk around the town as i was contemplating on weather to buy proper hiking gear, at the same time , Norway was my second last country before i return home, and the 5th expensive country in Europe i was spending my money on, so, basically i wasn't as rich to be in a position to shop at that particular moment.

So I forgot about my small ambition and saved it for another day. I met with Sophie, my airbnb owner who is sweet, accommodating and thoughtful. Since I wasn't able to climb Mount Trolltunga, she took me for a short hike nearby called Lilletopp Tyssedal. We also brought her daughter and her neighbour along, they were really adorable.

The view back to Oslo from Odda was breathtaking, I will definitely come back, meantime, I'll just droll over all the photos and videos i have. Xx

Excited me when i was having a morning hike in Oslo

One of the waterfalls I fell in love with, watch movie to view better

Typical Nordic houses in Odda

Upon arriving the small town

Credit to Sophie for making me look fat

The first place i visit nearby the current hydroelectric power station

There are stunning views of the glacier and Sørfjorden from here. The breathtaking view of Sørfjorden and Folgefonna is an added bonus.

My favourite photo with a favourite smile

Adorable children drawing the nature

Selfie me, again

The "infamous" waterfall over the road, watch the video for better view

On my way home to Odda

Glacier under the sun

End of Summer, Spring is coming

My favourite shot
Check out the video here:-

Thursday, October 27, 2016

And you'll always mean something to me too.. <3

Friday, October 21, 2016

Switzerland 2016

I love Switzerland for it's efficiency, Switzerland has the best systems in terms of it's public transportation, it offers more than just old cities with churches and river, it has the best lakes, beautiful mountains, amazing waterfall and so many more nature that would definately make you calm & more relax. The Swiss are a little bit introvert though, (although off course i met some who weren't) but I was warned by Malenie on my first day in Switzerland. I won't iron out all my experience in Switzerland, I'll just give some do's and don'ts;

*Do not ever take a taxi in Switzerland, it's the most expensive place to do that. Taxi meter will start with CHF 8 and it runs by minutes not miles. Therefore, even if the taxi stops to give pedestrian way or for a red light, the meter will still be running. It can cost you about CHF 100-CHF 120 for 15 minutes ride. I don't know about you, but i could watch the Euro Cup Semi Finals with that amount of money.

*Do get a Swiss pass. You are able to hop on any train, tram, bus, boat, or any kind of public tansportation. It cost about CHF 363 for 8 days. You will also get half price for most of the mountain visit (and it saves a lot, for example Mount Titlis cost CHF 90, but i paid CHF 45 instead) and you will also get free entry to all museums.

*Do visit ALL places in Switzerland if possible. Switzerland is a small country, if you are spending 8-12 days there, don't spend it in cities like Zurich, Bern or Geneva. Go to Interlaken, Lausanc, Neuchatel, Solothurn and visit all the mountains there, it's breathtaking. Mount Titlis, Matterhorn, Jungfraujoch, Rigi and Pilatus is a must, there's where the largest summer toboggan run in Switzerland, it also has other activities like walking on the rope, free fall etc. (P/s: Lucerne and Lausane are different ok?)

*Do go to the Rhine falls, it's Europe's largest waterfall, you's love it.


Spent the whole day at mount Pilatus

One of the old school cable car to the top of the mountain

the view

The toboggan run

The river & old churches

The Rhine Falls

Mount Titlis